When will it be my turn?

Last week I came across a job at a giant local church working in the Children's Ministry department. Of course with my 5 years of experiences working at a church preschool, 1 year as the office manager for a construction company and a Bachelor's degree in Communication I applied. Had a great interview. And two days later was not selected for the job. This job was less than 2 miles from my house. I currently work 22 miles away from home and take toll roads. The church gig paid better and was more hours and pretty much would have been great for me. Of course I told everyone I knew about this job because it was such a good fit and now I have to let everyone know that once again, I wasn't good enough for a part time job at a church that didn't require my education or experience level.

How does crap like this happen? I know the recession and blah blah blah, but I don't buy it anymore. I graduated from college two years ago. I have had a shitty part time job since I was 16 years old with one 8 month break. I have held multiple jobs at a time, I'm obviously a decent worker. I've never been fired or laid off. I show up, I do my work and I fucking speak English. How do I not have a job?! Someone please explain this to me. I apply for jobs every week. I hear nothing from jobs in Orlando, and I get calls from shitty jobs in other states that wouldn't pay enough to move myself, my husband and my dog to a new place.

At this point I don't know if we will even be able to move into a different apartment in October because we won't be able to afford to. It kills me that I went to college for pretty much nothing. The girl that had my job before me was in college, the other girl that works here dropped out of college and here I am making $10/hr with a college education. My brother works at the bucks and with tips makes pretty much the same as me, and on a good tip week, more.

I am so sick of my current job. (See all of my previous posts)

I am glad I have a husband that loves me and has a job so we can have a place, not matter how crappy, to live. I am lucky to not be homeless and starving. I am grateful for the things I have. I just wish I didn't have to go to a job that makes me cry every time.

I love my husband and without him who knows what lake I'd be at the bottom of right now.

I just want to be happy.

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