Feeling mushy

Today I am feeling especially thankful for my husband. He is amazingly patient, kind, funny, supportive, encouraging and I think he's pretty hot. Recently we have been talking a lot about the future and it's been difficult for us. He is a live in the moment kind of guy and I am a planner so he has a hard time thinking past this week and I have a tendency to forget about today and always look forward to the next step. Through all of these long nights of staying up until 2am talking about when we should have kids, how many kids, where we should travel, where we should buy a house, where we should send our kids to school, what kind of car should we buy next, should I try again to find a full time job, should I stay home completely, should we get a second dog so Lucy has a playmate... I have come to realize how in sync we are. That has been a big help in keeping me from falling apart when I feel like we will never have the things we talk about, like a house, kids or vacations. I know that we're still young and we have plenty of time to live and yadda yadda. But it's hard to be happy with what you have and be patient for the rest when everyone around you is starting to build the kind lives that you want. Watching friends buy houses, have kids, go on cool vacations, get dream jobs and buy new cars is hard. Especially because I work less than when I was in college at a job where I tape forms on file folders, I drive a car that is barely bigger than a golf cart, my husbands car is 11 years old, we live in a 1 bedroom apartment and if we had a baby it would have to live on the porch. The only trip we've ever taken together is our honeymoon and none of this is likely to change in the near future.

I'm just glad that I have someone I love so much to wait with me while we figure out the future, whatever it may be.


  1. I finally found your new blog. I will definitely be following you. I feel like people are moving on without me all the time. Lately, my latest fear, is that I don't have enough close friends who really and truly care about me. It's a sad sad fear, but crippling all the same.

    And don't worry. you probably have more money than I do and my car payment will take me a long time to repay and I have 60,000 dollars in debt from graduate school.


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