Livin' on a prayer

Today I saw my dads company has two positions available in one of their DC area offices and I told him I wanted to apply so tomorrow he is going to contact the DC office and tell them that I would like to be considered. Which is a pretty big in.

Then I got off the phone with him, played The Sims, watched Frasier and realized HOLY SHIT. There is a chance I might get a job if my dad is referring me. And that means we'd be moving, far, with tons of shit and a dog. That is when the panic set in. Because we would have to pay to break our lease, rent a moving truck, pay a deposit on a place in DC and our first months rent. Last time I checked we didn't have that kind of cash. So as amazing as it would be if I got a job the reality is I would have to leave my husband and dog in FL and move by myself until he found a job and we could afford to move. Which after being married for 16 months is a terrible idea. So I'm just trusting that if I get a job God provides us with a miracle. Because that's what it will take.

I'm so used to applying for jobs and never hearing back that I apply for everything. No one calls, I get a few no thank you emails and pretty much that's been my job search for the last 2-3 years. So I still feel like it's a long shot but yikes. I'm a planner. This whole wait and see what happens lifestyle that I'm living right now doesn't suit me in the least. It makes me stressed out and anxiety ridden. I had never had an anxiety attack until this year. I'm looking forward to putting this kind of crap behind me one day.

In other news, I have worked at my new job for like a month, and I already don't want to go tomorrow. I want a job where I do more than fill out forms online, print them out, tape them to file folders and then after everyone in the dept has signed off on them file them. I feel like every day I go to work my brain, and soul, die a little. I need way more stimulation. This job is a consistent flow of slow boring work. I prefer a faster pace.

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