Feeling like a South Pole Elf.

It's that time of year again folks. So grab some Eggnog sit back and let's talk about the Holidays.

Shall we start with Christmas? Great!

First of all, we are supposed to be celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, my Lord and savior. Who by the way was born in a manger. So when did it get so damn expensive? The husband and I are ALMOST done with shopping and we have spent $450 on gifts for our family and friends, I don't even want to know how much we've spent if we count the gifts for each other dour dog. Let's just say more than I make in a MONTH! It makes me sick. Now I do like shopping for all the stuff and even more I LOVE wrapping it all. I just think one year I am going to make a list of 10 reasons I like each person and wrap each list in a beautiful box with a giant bow and call it Christmas.

Secondly, what kind of crack head phone company is open on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day? My husband works on BOTH! I'm sorry, but if your internet goes out on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day you can wait until Dec 26 to watch naked ladies and buy used crap on Ebay. I want to spend Christmas with my husband. He has a family, and he likes us.

Third, I love Christmas Lights. I wish we had a house so we could put more lights up. We have about as many lights as we can on our porch without it looking tacky. I also want an outdoor swirly white lights Christmas Tree and wreathes with white lights and red bows on the windows. And I want lights on our fence and Reindeer in the yard.

Fourth, I love Christmas Music. We have a radio station that plays only Christmas music from Thanksgiving through Christmas and it is pretty much the only thing I have listened to in the car since Thanksgiving.

Fifth, I love Christmas Eve Church services. One year I want to spend all day Christmas Eve going from service to service. I love the music and the hand bells and the Christmas Story and the Candles and the pretty outfits people wear. I love everything about it. It's my favorite church service all year.

Sixth, I love the food. Cookies, Ham, Roasts, Cinnamon Rolls. Y.U.M.

I love Christmas time. But then Christmas Day comes, and we have to wake up early. Drive to my parents house to have breakfast and open presents, then drive to my grandpas house and open presents and have lunch, then to my grandmas house to open presents, then back to my parents house for dinner. So from 9am-10pm we are on the road or eating or opening. It's all very exciting... the first 10 or so times, but seeing as how this has been my Christmas day for the last 24 Christmas's I'm over it. I am ready to Skip Christmas. I swear if it wasn't because my in-laws buy us a Christmas Tree every year, We might not have gotten around to getting one this year. I mean we forgot to get a pumpkin for Halloween for crying out loud.

Ready to chat about New Years? Too Bad!

New Years is tricky. The husband doesn't really drink very much anymore and neither do I. So we usually end up going out for dinner, sharing a bottle of campaign at home and then watching the ball drop in out underwear while lighting sparklers in our living room. Oh, that's unsafe you say? Whatever! We have 4 fire extinguishers and we'd rather play with fire in our underwear, so it is what it is. Anyway, we are basically 3 years away from a retirement community and we are OK with that. But then is the terrible feeling I get when people give me shit for wanting to be old and boring with my husband. Unfortunately this year my husband is working on New Years Eve until 10 pm. AND on New Years Day at 8am. So now I don't know what to do. My usual plans are ruined. I mean what kind of job does my husband need to get so I can drink and play with fire in my underwear on New Years Eve?

And Yes if you've been following along, I did say my Husband is working Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve and New Years Day. Happy Holidays to us! FML.

So the next holiday I am looking forward to is my Birthday. Come on Martin Luther King Day, hurry up and get here!

Bah Humbug!

Yours Truly,

The Grinch


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