I want my $5 back.

One night when the hubs and I were out to dinner, probably two years ago, we had one of the worst dining experiences we'd ever had. I am a pretty decent tipper as far as I'm concerned. As long as you don't psychically assault me, say something rude about me to my face and you keep my glass full of whatever frosty beverage I've chosen you are probably going to get a 20% tip. I think that's pretty generous. Now I start docking tip after I have to wait more than 10 minutes for a refill, and it drops quick. I also don't want to wait for my check, or to be greeted. These are the big players for me. Say hello ASAP, keep me hydrated and let me leave when I'm done, no one wants to be a prisoner. Anyway back to the horrible experience, I don't actually remember it very well, I just remember we had a very strange server, and they were so slow that I'm sure a slug could have gotten us in and out of that place in less time. When it came time to pay I tipped my normal 20% and left, thankful to be done. As we walked to the car I stopped in the middle of the parking lot and said to my husband, "Shit! I want my $5 back". He looked at me completely confused and I explained that I wish I hadn't tipped 20% and that I wanted $5 of it back because the night sucked so bad, I mean hey that would have covered the cost of my morning bagel and coffee. We decided that $5 was just the price we had to pay to be let free of our horrible experience.

The point: Now I use that phrase all the time, to describe anything less than satisfactory.

I bought a new L'Oreal mascara the other day and I don't care for it. I've used it three times and I probably won't use it again. I think I'm going throw it away and buy something else. It was just a fun coincidence that it cost $5 and when I used it for the third time I told my husband I hated it and wanted my $5 back. It made me think of that night when I first used the phrase and I had to share. So next time you have an experience that doesn't life up to your expectations, just long for your $5 and think of me.

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