Cookies and presents and strangers, oh my!

Today has been an INTERESTING day. See for yourself...

This morning started off pretty normal, I took Christopher to work and then did a little Christmas wrapping before church. I went to church and then to lunch with my parents, cracker barrel of course. Then I headed out into the craziness that is Christmas shopping at the mall on the Sunday before Christmas. Yikes!

To be honest, the mall wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I had to park three counties away, but once inside things weren't too crowded, the people weren't as annoying as they could have been, and it was overall not a bad shopping trip. Then I left the mall to walk back to my car; I should have tried on clothes and looked at shoes, instead of being responsible and leaving the mall in a timely manner.

I was walking to my car, just minding me own business, thinking about my to do list, cookies, wrapping paper, wishing it was snowing, you know the usual walking to my car thoughts. When a man told me to smile, it was almost Christmas. I responded by smiling and saying thanks, you have a merry Christmas. This is where that transaction should have stopped if he was a normal person, but no, of course this is not where it stopped.

Side note: I draw in the freaks in ways I didn't know were possible.It's a problem.

So I put my bags in my trunk and start to get in my car when the man turns around and says "you are a Jamaican mans dream"... seriously, who says that to a stranger in a mall parking lot? Then he asked me if I was married, I said yes hoping that would encourage him to go away, he responded with "he is one lucky son of a bitch." He then told me he was a 51 year old Jamaican who "liked what he saw" and if things didn't work out with my husband to give him a call, he gave me his business card. It was the most awkward 7 minutes of my life. I honestly mean that; if he had gotten any closer to me or kept talking to me much longer I would have pushed the panic button on my keys and screamed. I didn't feel in danger then, but thinking about it now that it's over, I might need to get pepper spray or a gun just in case. I hate to be that racist, because lord knows I love me a piece of black man **cough cough** Dwight Howard **cough cough**, but I do attract pretty much only black men and I have never attracted a man that couldn't hurt me or snatch me (not that they necessarily would) in a matter or seconds with the exception of my very shy, very white husband.

After that was all over and I got safely into my car, locked all of my doors, and got the fuck out of the mall parking lot, I went and got a large Coke at McDonald's. Coke helps soothe even the most ridiculous situations. Then I finished my Christmas shopping, wrapped all of Christopher's gifts, went to pick him up from work, and now we are making cookies.

So while you are out Christmas shopping, be careful. Don't let a 51 year old Jamaican handyman hit on you for the most awkward 7 minutes of your life in the Macy's parking lot.

7 days and counting...


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