When idiots parade

This week was filled with idiots being hilarious.

1. Grills on wheels

 I had a MadMen marathon with Amber late last week and I had about an hour to kill between getting off work and Amber getting home so I ran an errand and got lunch before I went to her house. On my way from chick fil a to her house I was driving down 436, which is an 8 lane monstrosity with crazy drivers, and I saw a lady perched precariously on the median with a full size grill, yano like for grilling food. The grill even had wheels.All I could think of was the sight of this woman as she jaywalked ran across the  road wheeling her grill alongside her, which I'm assuming was her plan for the other half of the road. Below I have recreated the scene in paint using a google map image. The little pink star is the lady with the grill and the little red rectangle with black circles is my car. I was laughing hysterically until I got to the next light and composed myself. It was a special day.

2. Fencing is hard

Now that we have a house with a yard, we need a fence. We need a fence to keep Lucy contained so she can run free in the yard playing and chasing lizards, and a little to keep the neighbors out. A couple of weeks ago I submitted an online form to get a quote for fence installation from a local company, I specified that I would like a quote for supplies to DIY and for professional instillation. Last weekend I got a call from the fence company and they told me how much fence panels were and asked if I still wanted a quote for professional instillation, I told the lady that yes, I still wanted the second quote. Another week goes by, no quote. Chris calls the fence company, we aren't on the schedule to get a quote, so we schedule another one. Someone is supposed to be at our house today at noon:30 to measure etc. We'll see if they show up.

3. Lines are confusing and people are rude

I was at Michael's the other day to get some craft supplies and of course at 2:30 in the afternoon on a weekday they only had one cashier with 7 people in line. So after a few minutes a second cashier came to open a new line, she said she could take the next guest in line, so I backed up so people in front of me could rearrange themselves, and the lady directly in front of me (I was the 7th person in line) got in the new line and just looked at the 2nd person in line like ha ha I'm faster than you. So of course the lady that should have started the new line just smiled and politely stayed where she was. No one else moved to the new line behind the rude lady so I got behind her. As soon as I was behind her she started talking smack about a mom in the first line. The mom was paying and she had two kids, a baby and a toddler. The baby was in the cart in a car seat and the toddler was being silly and playing with a toy. Rude lady whispers to me, "that lady needs to control her kid, he is loud and crazy... geeze... am I right?!" I just half smiled at the lady and didn't respond, because honestly that mom was doing just fine. Her "crazy" kid was like 2 1/2 - 3 and he was having a good time in a craft store, what more can you ask for from a kid?

I left the store about the same time as the mom and she definitely had her hands full so I crossed into the parking lot slowly a little behind her in case she started to look like she wasn't going to make it to the car with her two kids and her sanity. She made it to the car, like a boss.

4. I didn't make the rules, I just follow them

To top off the week of crazy people, I had a student at work who wanted to turn in a transcript to be considered degree seeking. To be considered degree seeking a student has to turn in an official, sealed, complete transcript. This guy walks up to the desk around 8:12am, with an opened transcript, I explained our transcript policy. He spent the next 35 minutes telling me that our "fucking policy is stupid as shit", and how the hell could he get a copy of that transcript if it wasn't official?! After a while I just started responding to emails and working on other work because I do not have time for nasty people, their crazy attitudes, or their filthy language at 8:00 in the morning.

A friend at work found the most hilarious tumblr for people who work in student affairs. If you want a good, hard laugh, take a look.. http://whatshouldwecallstudentaffairs.tumblr.com/


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