I would die in the wilderness

Let's all hope I never end up in the wilderness.

Friday I went to a college wide training for my department. They wanted  us to learn consensus building and give us tips on how to deal with difficult/disruptive students. During our census building activity we had to read a little story about a group of campers and one idiot that decided to go on a hike alone, then answer questions about survival on our own and as a group.

There were 12 questions, on my own I got 3 right, so I won't be eaten by a bear or a snake, and I know how to call for help, but if help doesn't come I'm going to die from dehydration and eating plants that kill, all before I get struck by lightning and burn down my tent.

As a group we did marginally better, getting 5 questions right, but we still would have poisoned ourselves and been swept down a river, so there's that.

This is why I don't go camping, because of survivor shows and consensus building activities that have lead me to believe that 45 minutes outside will end my life because I'll eat a leaf that makes me limp, then get struck by lightning in the middle of a snow storm, then burn my tent down with a camp stove trying to keep warm.

I think I'll stick to my camping philosophy: A holiday inn is the closest thing to camping that I want to experience.


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