How To Love Yourself with Self Care

Photo by Brigitte Tohm on Unsplash
I love doing things for other people because it makes me feel good, and I want people to like me, but in all of that doing, I forget to just be and take care of myself.

I have been trying to be more intentional about self care, and I think I'm finally improving.

Self care is a lot of things, it's physical, emotional, personal, social, spiritual, and practical. It requires checking in on every part of your self, which sometimes pretty much sucks.


I am exhausted 90% of the time, I don't sleep well, I don't like eating breakfast, and because of these couple of things, I have a hard time taking care of my physical self. I don't exercise enough or at all, and some days the only healthy thing I've done is drink water.

Photo by Krista Mangulsone on Unsplash
I have started to work on a more strict bed time routine to help me try and get better sleep, and I'm using the bedtime function in the clock app on my phone. I am drinking less caffeine, and I try not to drink coke every day. I try and pay attention to my activity rings on my apple watch, and I'm looking forward to summer when I will spend my free time swimming. I started tracking when I take all of my medicines with pretty stickers so I don't forget, and I'm trying to eat breakfast more often, and pack lunches and snacks for work.

I have also been trying to keep up with getting my hair cut and colored, and getting my nails done semi regularly. I do these things not because they are making me healthier, but becasue they make me feel put together, and ready for life. My job involves a lot of presenting, so it's important to me to look at least one step up from just rolling out of bed. I also try to make time to take a fancy bath once in a while, use face masks, and do other relaxing things. I am a little uptight, so relaxing is really hard for me and takes a lot of effort, but I know it's important.


Feelings are hard for me. I see a therapist pretty much every week to help me figure out my feelings. I had to print a list of feeling words at the beginning of my mental health journey, because I didn't know how to articulate them. I would literally tell my therapist, I feel blah, or meh, or make an actual sound effect. I still struggle to put my feelings into words, but I am getting better and my feelings vocabulary has grown to almost 15 words I can regularly use. There are still sound effects though.

I journal most days to help me process my feelings. I write out anything I've done for self care, five things I'm grateful for, a compliment to myself, and anything else interesting that has happened that day. I also track how much water I drink and how often I meditate.


Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash
I don't like to be alone, but in order to get to know yourself you kind of have to spend time with, uhhh, yourself. I spend time meditating, journaling (yeah I'm counting this twice), setting goals, and writing lists of things I like, want, or need to get to know more about me. It still makes me uncomfortable sometimes, but it's getting a little easier.


Photo by Kelsey Chance on Unsplash
I am a super social person. I love to be around people. I have lots of friends. I love doing new things with my friends. But sometimes I over schedule myself and then I get cranky. I have come up with a good system for me, I try not to schedule more than 1-2 work night outings, and I try to leave at least half of a weekend day to be at home. Some weeks are busier than this and some are slower, but this feels like a good balance for me when it works out.


Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
I wish my spiritual journey was as cozy and wholesome as this picture, but honestly mine is more like, "OK Google: find scriptures about not stabbing people in the eye with a plastic spoon". And Jesus loves me anyway, the bible told me so.

As an adult I have had a difficult relationship with church (the building) and some of the people inside. I know some of the difficulty is my own insecurity, but there is a big part of this relationship where people are just straight up shitty. I took a break from attending church and six years later that break is still hanging on.

I pray and check in with God. I consult scripture when I need advice, encouragement, or reminders about life. I discuss these things with my friends and Christopher. I sing worship songs around the house and celebrate Christian holidays in full force. This might not be ideal, but it's where I am, and I'm happy with this for now.


Sometimes you just have to be a damn adult. Dishes have to get washed, or else you'll end up with flies. Laundry has to get done, because our society prefers you get dressed before leaving the house. Bills have to get paid, or else you won't have electricity, or water, or something like that. And there are times when just showering is about all I can handle in terms of self care, but that's important. Part of my self care routine is checking to make sure all of my bills were paid correctly (I auto pay everything), and highlighting the little boxes in my spreadsheet once they have been paid. This helps me stay organized and alleviates some of the anxiety surrounding getting bills paid on time.

Photo by Christian Fregnan on Unsplash

I also try to make showering more fun by having a small variety of options for my bath products. Smells I love, scrubs that feel good, and always a clean fluffy towel. We also just installed a color changing, dimmable light bulb in the shower so now I can have mood lighting. I also find that if I listen to podcasts or books in the shower so I don't rush and then it's a more relaxing experience.

Photo by Rebecca Aldama on Unsplash

Self care look different for everyone. Some days it's getting your to do list done, using a face mask, and reading a book. Other days self care is staying in bed and remembering to eat.

Share your favorite self care tips in the comments. 


  1. I love literally every. single. thing. about this post. <3

    1. I'm so glad! It took me a long time to wrap my head around the idea of self care, but it's so important. <3


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